Dear Readers,
It is that time of year again! And as expected, my credit peeps, you did not let me down in sharing your crazy moments from 2017. So grab your eggnog, cozy in, and get ready for this year’s feast for the eyes.
Here is this year’s lineup in no particular order (with smart ass credit manager comments added):
- “My bank account is acting up again. There was money in it when I wrote the check.” (This was in response to a bounced check.)
- “We need you to release the judgment, our owner thinks he paid this and we want to sell the property.” (Sure, we took the time, effort and money to chase down a way to get paid from said owner, after trusting him with an account here, but hey since he “thinks” he paid it and has proven trustworthy to this point, let me call the attorney and make that happen. NOT!)
- “I will pay you when I damn well feel like it.” (That was just prior to the hang up.)
- “I only had two checks left and had to pick who to pay. You weren’t selected.” (Was I even in the running?)
- “My truck broke down and I can’t work without my truck, so you see why I can’t pay you.” (So you are one broken vehicle away from the total shut down of your company. Good to know.)
- “My credit card was compromised and I waiting for a new one to get here.” (Does this customer not believe in writing a check or using cash?)
- “You haven’t received your check yet? Let me check with my bookkeeper.” (Who, incidentally, is his wife and was probably sitting right next to him.)
- Past due customer: “You sound pretty, maybe I could take you out to dinner”. Credit manager: “Are you any richer then the past due status of your account would lead me to believe or am I carrying you for dinner too?”
- “I just need one more small load to finish the job and then I can pay you.” The CM explained to the customer that he couldn’t do it because he didn’t have the materials and he didn’t have the materials because people were not paying their bills. He miraculously came up with a credit card. A Christmas miracle that came early.
- “Hey I paid my bill in full last month and it is still shows a balance?” (Um, yeah…that’s because you paid in 45 days from the statement date on a 2%Net30 account and took your discount.)
- “I f’ing hate your company!” said the YELLING customer. (Ok, we aren’t fond of you either at this point.) “Don’t you want to know why?” yelled the customer. (No, I really don’t think at this point I do.) Customer then proceeded to spend the next half hour telling the CM why her company was the worst but offered no solution for getting his bill paid, except to say, she needed to understand how the business works.
- “You need to come up with some ideas for getting our bill paid, we have some issues.” (Ahhh, my “solution” is for you to pay me, immediately, everything you owe. I don’t have control of your money. If I did, I would be paid by now.)
- “My mom is out of town and she takes care of the billing and making payments.” (Dude, really Your mom?! You’re going to blame your mom?)
- “We had an customer who’s excuse for not paying was he want to keep a balance on his account so we wouldn’t close it. You guessed correctly, we closed it!”
- “A normally good paying account was late, when we contacted the bookkeeper (an elderly lady well into her 70’s) she apologized and said she could not write a check as she had fallen and broken her arm in two places. She would send the payment as soon as it healed. Although we giggled about it, no one in our company wanted to accuse Nana of being a liar. Which was worked out great for us, since it turned out to be true.”
And my absolute all-time favorite (of any given year). DRUM ROLL PLEASE:
“A customer’s bookkeeper/wife who used the money she owed on account to pay for her facelift. The interest rate with us was cheaper then the plastic surgeon’s!”
So there you have it, another year of entertainment in the rear view mirror. I can’t wait to see what fun and exciting stories and challenges next year brings! Thanks to all of you for the stories and support; I appreciate each and every one of you. Have a safe and happy holiday season!
